Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Gloria
Yvonne: this is actually how i should be acting
Yvonne:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/60246?utm_source=on
ion_rss_daily
pOTaTOe eh: im sorry maam but if you'd like to speak
with anish, you'll have to make an appointment
pOTaTOe eh: unfortunately the office is closed right
now, please call back tomorrow between 10am and 6pm
PDT
pOTaTOe eh: thank you
Yvonne: i never knew anish was impt enough to have an
AIM answering service
Yvonne: esp one that knows what gender the sender is
pOTaTOe eh: I am his secretary
Yvonne: and your name is?
pOTaTOe eh: and you're groups on his list under
"chicas"
Yvonne: but your name is?
Yvonne: and why hasnt anish never mentioned you to me
before?
pOTaTOe eh: my name is gloria
Yvonne: i'm one of his dearest acquaintences
pOTaTOe eh: until recently, you had access to his direct
line
pOTaTOe eh: so you didnt need to go through me
Yvonne: ok then
Yvonne: how is he compensating you?
Yvonne: he's a student, not filthy rich (yet)
pOTaTOe eh: that information is private
Yvonne: would you please pass my message along to him?
pOTaTOe eh: yes i can
Yvonne: and inform him that if i continue to be speaking
to his secretary and not to his direct line, he may no longer be
expecting gifts from me in any edible or non-edible form
pOTaTOe eh: ill let him know
pOTaTOe eh: have a nice evening
Yvonne: where is he at the moment?
pOTaTOe eh: that information is private
Yvonne: at 10pm PST?
Yvonne: i'm surprised he has you working so late
Yvonne: is he treating you well?
Yvonne: are you doing this for your kids?
pOTaTOe eh: we work in shifts
pOTaTOe eh: there are 3 of us
Yvonne: shouldnt u be home tending to them instead of
me?
pOTaTOe eh: i never said I have kids
Yvonne: but i'm sure a girl like you must've been knocked
up by anish by now
Yvonne: seeing how he's not rich
pOTaTOe eh: i dont claim to know the nature of your
relationship with anish, but my personal life is none of
your business
Yvonne: u seem like an intellegent girl
Yvonne: u can write sentences properly
Yvonne: y are you working as a secretary for him?
Yvonne: u could be so much more
Yvonne: u dont need this job
Yvonne: it's not worth it
pOTaTOe eh: maan, please mind your own business
pOTaTOe eh: I will pass your message along
Yvonne: maan?
pOTaTOe eh: maam, typo
pOTaTOe eh: sorry
Yvonne: i'll be complaining to your supervisor about this
pOTaTOe eh: about a typo?
Yvonne: no, about this attitude that u're giving me
pOTaTOe eh: would you like me to add that to your
message to him?
Yvonne: the typo doesnt help either
Yvonne: no no
Yvonne: i'll deal with that personally
Yvonne: but as a fair warning
pOTaTOe eh: you're prying into my personal life, which,
frankly, is none of your business
Yvonne: i'm trying to help
Yvonne: girl to girl
pOTaTOe eh: do you try to help every secretary you
meet?
Yvonne: but u're obviously not being appreciative of my
kindness
Yvonne: seeing how my own mother is a secretary, i have
a fondness towards them
Yvonne: and know the sorts of stuff they deal with by
their superiors
pOTaTOe eh: well, I'm quite happy with my job
pOTaTOe eh: and I dont appreciate strangers tryin to
tell me how I should be living my life
pOTaTOe eh: I'm sure you wouldnt like it either
Yvonne: goodnight gloria
pOTaTOe eh: goodnight
Yvonne:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/60246?utm_source=on
ion_rss_daily
pOTaTOe eh: im sorry maam but if you'd like to speak
with anish, you'll have to make an appointment
pOTaTOe eh: unfortunately the office is closed right
now, please call back tomorrow between 10am and 6pm
PDT
pOTaTOe eh: thank you
Yvonne: i never knew anish was impt enough to have an
AIM answering service
Yvonne: esp one that knows what gender the sender is
pOTaTOe eh: I am his secretary
Yvonne: and your name is?
pOTaTOe eh: and you're groups on his list under
"chicas"
Yvonne: but your name is?
Yvonne: and why hasnt anish never mentioned you to me
before?
pOTaTOe eh: my name is gloria
Yvonne: i'm one of his dearest acquaintences
pOTaTOe eh: until recently, you had access to his direct
line
pOTaTOe eh: so you didnt need to go through me
Yvonne: ok then
Yvonne: how is he compensating you?
Yvonne: he's a student, not filthy rich (yet)
pOTaTOe eh: that information is private
Yvonne: would you please pass my message along to him?
pOTaTOe eh: yes i can
Yvonne: and inform him that if i continue to be speaking
to his secretary and not to his direct line, he may no longer be
expecting gifts from me in any edible or non-edible form
pOTaTOe eh: ill let him know
pOTaTOe eh: have a nice evening
Yvonne: where is he at the moment?
pOTaTOe eh: that information is private
Yvonne: at 10pm PST?
Yvonne: i'm surprised he has you working so late
Yvonne: is he treating you well?
Yvonne: are you doing this for your kids?
pOTaTOe eh: we work in shifts
pOTaTOe eh: there are 3 of us
Yvonne: shouldnt u be home tending to them instead of
me?
pOTaTOe eh: i never said I have kids
Yvonne: but i'm sure a girl like you must've been knocked
up by anish by now
Yvonne: seeing how he's not rich
pOTaTOe eh: i dont claim to know the nature of your
relationship with anish, but my personal life is none of
your business
Yvonne: u seem like an intellegent girl
Yvonne: u can write sentences properly
Yvonne: y are you working as a secretary for him?
Yvonne: u could be so much more
Yvonne: u dont need this job
Yvonne: it's not worth it
pOTaTOe eh: maan, please mind your own business
pOTaTOe eh: I will pass your message along
Yvonne: maan?
pOTaTOe eh: maam, typo
pOTaTOe eh: sorry
Yvonne: i'll be complaining to your supervisor about this
pOTaTOe eh: about a typo?
Yvonne: no, about this attitude that u're giving me
pOTaTOe eh: would you like me to add that to your
message to him?
Yvonne: the typo doesnt help either
Yvonne: no no
Yvonne: i'll deal with that personally
Yvonne: but as a fair warning
pOTaTOe eh: you're prying into my personal life, which,
frankly, is none of your business
Yvonne: i'm trying to help
Yvonne: girl to girl
pOTaTOe eh: do you try to help every secretary you
meet?
Yvonne: but u're obviously not being appreciative of my
kindness
Yvonne: seeing how my own mother is a secretary, i have
a fondness towards them
Yvonne: and know the sorts of stuff they deal with by
their superiors
pOTaTOe eh: well, I'm quite happy with my job
pOTaTOe eh: and I dont appreciate strangers tryin to
tell me how I should be living my life
pOTaTOe eh: I'm sure you wouldnt like it either
Yvonne: goodnight gloria
pOTaTOe eh: goodnight
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Rajan is a sick little child
RajMan1999: I'm in the middle of rubbing one out and I decide to stop to IM you
Saturday, November 26, 2005
MC Satya - Hungry
Hungry, I'm so hungry,
I have no food innnn
siiide my hooome
I'm so hungry, I'm Mr. hungry
I have no food innnn
siiiide my hooome
I'm so hungry
Yo, this one here, goes out to all my college boys man, ya know
They had it good in high school ya know, they moms made dinna every night then one day you just up and left fo school
Yeah . . .
I woke up in the middle of the night and noticed that my belly wasn't feelin right, coulda sworn I was dreamin, my stomach was screamin, so I hadta grab a lil bite. Back trackin on these few years tryin ta figure out what I ate to stay alive, Cuz ever since I left my home, nothing else ever tasted right
[Chorus 2X]
I'm so hungry (so hungry)
I'm Mr. hungry (mr. hungry)
I have no food (I have no food)
insiiiide my hooome (inside my hooome) ohh!
Can't believe I ate Chinese styrofoam or white fuzz and survived the night, I try to focus on eating right, im just feelin way too lazy tonight, neva thought the day would come when I would rather bum than make a bowl of top ramen Woke my neighbors up at half past ten.... said they heard my stomach growlin
[Chorus 2X]
I'm so hungry (so hungry)
I'm Mr. hungry (mr. hungry)
I have no food (I have no food)
insiiiide my hooome (inside my hooome) ohh!
Been all about the world, ain’t neva had penne like I did in firenze, I live for the day when I get swiped in at a hall like De Neveeeee, My standards are dead and gone you see, I'll eat anything as long as there’s no meat, Feed me today, I’m beggin on my knees, Without food in my fridge, well
[Chorus 2X]
I'm so hungry (so hungry)
I'm Mr. hungry (mr. hungry)
I have no food (I have no food)
insiiiide my hooome (inside my hooome) ohh!
Never thought I'd starve in my home, Didn’t think my food could taste so wrong, I just want you to feed me now, Pancakes and waffles c'mon! Breakfast I don’t eat no more, At lunch I’m even hungrier, I never thought that I'd be so lazy, And I’m starvin like crazy cuz
[Chorus 2X]
I'm so hungry (so hungry)
I'm Mr. hungry (Mr. hungry)
I have no food (I have no food)
insiiiide my hooome (inside my hooome) ohh!
Hungry, so Hungry
so hungry (so hungry),
Mr. Hungry, so hungry
so hungry, so hungry (so hungry), Mr. Hungry!
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Gift Horse
vinay83: ur roommate should cook for u instead of giving u suggestions
pOTaTOe eh: haha
pOTaTOe eh: he made pancakses the other day
vinay83: nice
pOTaTOe eh: tru
pOTaTOe eh: he dint put enuf milk, so they were kinda thick and tough
pOTaTOe eh: but he will learn
pOTaTOe eh: he actualyl likes to cook
vinay83: u shoulda thrown em back in his face
pOTaTOe eh: haha
vinay83: with the syrup
vinay83: it woulda been all sticky
vinay83: quality entertainment
pOTaTOe eh: man, never punch a gift horse in the mouth
pOTaTOe eh: thats a good line for "vinay sez"
vinay83: yeh, u punch it in its knee cap
vinay83: that way it can't chase u
pOTaTOe eh: lol
vinay83: or...
vinay83: u throw pancakes in its face
vinay83: with syrup
pOTaTOe eh: haha
pOTaTOe eh: he made pancakses the other day
vinay83: nice
pOTaTOe eh: tru
pOTaTOe eh: he dint put enuf milk, so they were kinda thick and tough
pOTaTOe eh: but he will learn
pOTaTOe eh: he actualyl likes to cook
vinay83: u shoulda thrown em back in his face
pOTaTOe eh: haha
vinay83: with the syrup
vinay83: it woulda been all sticky
vinay83: quality entertainment
pOTaTOe eh: man, never punch a gift horse in the mouth
pOTaTOe eh: thats a good line for "vinay sez"
vinay83: yeh, u punch it in its knee cap
vinay83: that way it can't chase u
pOTaTOe eh: lol
vinay83: or...
vinay83: u throw pancakes in its face
vinay83: with syrup
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Lunar Reunions
pOTaTOe eh: for ur pension, are you fully vested after 5 years?
pOTaTOe eh: at northrop thas how it was
vinay83: not sure
vinay83: u think i should stick around for 5?
pOTaTOe eh: depends on how much that pension is worth
vinay83: i'd get retirement money if i did that right?
vinay83: tru
pOTaTOe eh: yea u wud
vinay83: i'll hafta consider it
pOTaTOe eh: but it depends on if thats like $3/mo.
vinay83: but i think i would be vested
pOTaTOe eh: or if its like $100/mo.
vinay83: could i jus retire?
vinay83: after 5 years?
pOTaTOe eh: i think yes
pOTaTOe eh: at northrop u cud
vinay83: instead of quitting
pOTaTOe eh: but u got a very small pension
vinay83: eh
vinay83: its something
vinay83: and its for life right?
pOTaTOe eh: haha, yes but is it worth 2 years of ur life?
pOTaTOe eh: i think so
pOTaTOe eh: u shud look into it
vinay83: yeh, its only like a grand or so
pOTaTOe eh: ur pension?
vinay83: plus or minus a grand
vinay83: haha
vinay83: i'm estimating
vinay83: overall
vinay83: if it were like 3 dollars or something like that
pOTaTOe eh: lol, that comes out to a grand in ur expected lifetime?
vinay83: close to 1500
vinay83: haha
vinay83: thats a conservative estimate
pOTaTOe eh: yes
pOTaTOe eh: we dont know what that number wud be
vinay83: i'll probably live to be like 98 years old
vinay83: with current life expectancies and the future medication
pOTaTOe eh: haha
pOTaTOe eh: ok
vinay83: maybe 120
vinay83: prolly have time travel figured out by then too
vinay83: so by then
pOTaTOe eh: 120... how many generations below you would u have?
vinay83: i'll jus travel back a few generation stoo
pOTaTOe eh: lol
pOTaTOe eh: ok
vinay83: 5 generations i'd say
pOTaTOe eh: thats insanity
vinay83: haha
pOTaTOe eh: u know how big the family gatherings wud be?
vinay83: yeh, technology is amazing ain't it
pOTaTOe eh: we'd need to reserve a small state just to hold us all
vinay83: o don't worry, there will be technology to handle all that
vinay83: lunar stations
pOTaTOe eh: family reunion on one of the moons of jupter?
vinay83: we can jus user our transporters
pOTaTOe eh: we could rent out a different moon for each get together
vinay83: only the nice ones
vinay83: some of them i hear are pretty cold
pOTaTOe eh: yea, and others are volcanic
vinay83: yeh
vinay83: i'm not much of a fan of lava
vinay83: never encountered it...but it jus seems like one of those things i wouldn quite like
vinay83: yep
vinay83: anywho
vinay83: its well passed my bedtime
vinay83: i gots to get going
vinay83: gnite
pOTaTOe eh: k
pOTaTOe eh: gnight
pOTaTOe eh: at northrop thas how it was
vinay83: not sure
vinay83: u think i should stick around for 5?
pOTaTOe eh: depends on how much that pension is worth
vinay83: i'd get retirement money if i did that right?
vinay83: tru
pOTaTOe eh: yea u wud
vinay83: i'll hafta consider it
pOTaTOe eh: but it depends on if thats like $3/mo.
vinay83: but i think i would be vested
pOTaTOe eh: or if its like $100/mo.
vinay83: could i jus retire?
vinay83: after 5 years?
pOTaTOe eh: i think yes
pOTaTOe eh: at northrop u cud
vinay83: instead of quitting
pOTaTOe eh: but u got a very small pension
vinay83: eh
vinay83: its something
vinay83: and its for life right?
pOTaTOe eh: haha, yes but is it worth 2 years of ur life?
pOTaTOe eh: i think so
pOTaTOe eh: u shud look into it
vinay83: yeh, its only like a grand or so
pOTaTOe eh: ur pension?
vinay83: plus or minus a grand
vinay83: haha
vinay83: i'm estimating
vinay83: overall
vinay83: if it were like 3 dollars or something like that
pOTaTOe eh: lol, that comes out to a grand in ur expected lifetime?
vinay83: close to 1500
vinay83: haha
vinay83: thats a conservative estimate
pOTaTOe eh: yes
pOTaTOe eh: we dont know what that number wud be
vinay83: i'll probably live to be like 98 years old
vinay83: with current life expectancies and the future medication
pOTaTOe eh: haha
pOTaTOe eh: ok
vinay83: maybe 120
vinay83: prolly have time travel figured out by then too
vinay83: so by then
pOTaTOe eh: 120... how many generations below you would u have?
vinay83: i'll jus travel back a few generation stoo
pOTaTOe eh: lol
pOTaTOe eh: ok
vinay83: 5 generations i'd say
pOTaTOe eh: thats insanity
vinay83: haha
pOTaTOe eh: u know how big the family gatherings wud be?
vinay83: yeh, technology is amazing ain't it
pOTaTOe eh: we'd need to reserve a small state just to hold us all
vinay83: o don't worry, there will be technology to handle all that
vinay83: lunar stations
pOTaTOe eh: family reunion on one of the moons of jupter?
vinay83: we can jus user our transporters
pOTaTOe eh: we could rent out a different moon for each get together
vinay83: only the nice ones
vinay83: some of them i hear are pretty cold
pOTaTOe eh: yea, and others are volcanic
vinay83: yeh
vinay83: i'm not much of a fan of lava
vinay83: never encountered it...but it jus seems like one of those things i wouldn quite like
vinay83: yep
vinay83: anywho
vinay83: its well passed my bedtime
vinay83: i gots to get going
vinay83: gnite
pOTaTOe eh: k
pOTaTOe eh: gnight
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Elephant beats Donkey
vinay83: yo
pOTaTOe eh: elephant
vinay83: donkey
pOTaTOe eh: elephant totally beats donkey
pOTaTOe eh: elephant sits on donkey
vinay83: yeh, u called me an elephant so i called u a donkey
vinay83: i sit on u.
pOTaTOe eh: elephant
vinay83: donkey
pOTaTOe eh: elephant totally beats donkey
pOTaTOe eh: elephant sits on donkey
vinay83: yeh, u called me an elephant so i called u a donkey
vinay83: i sit on u.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Smaug Player Profile
I updated my player profile for the ucla ultimate team, and since it wont be on that site forever i decided to copy it here, just cuz its funny
Name: Anish Shah
Class: Grad (2nd yr)
Years on Smaug: 1
Hometown: The Village of Johnson City
Signature Move: The Shin Shredder
Metaclorian count: ridiculously high
Yoda cant throw. He's slow, and can't play defense to save his life. He can barely even catch. In fact if you throw the disc to him, he will probably drop it. Unless of course its about 3 inches off the ground and seemingly impossible to catch. He will make that catch every time. Yoda is also old, and old people feel obligated to teach and advise the youngens. So Yoda will teach you the one thing he does know. The Shin Shredder.
The Shin Shredder consists of 16 simple steps.
1.) Wait for a shitty handler to get the disc
2.) Run. Fast, but not too fast, cuz then you wont need to slide
3.) Let the disc drop until it is roughly 8-10 inches off the ground. (once you get good, u can wait until its at 2-4 inches)
4.) Drop down to your knees
5.) Take advantage of the lack of hair on your shins and sliiiiiiiide (perfect for all you hairless asians on the team)
6.) Catch disc
7.) In one smooth motion, bring your legs in front of you
8.) Dig your heels into the ground
9.) Let your momentum pick you up.
10.) Note the missing skin from your shins. (if you're bleeding, make sure its not black)
11.) Look upfield for about 8 seconds
12.) At stall nine, throw a blady piece of shit to a smauggie who is getting completely owned by his defender
13.) Laugh as said defender stops to watch the disc in awe of your rampant stupidity, and consequently fails to keep up with your smauggie receiver
14.) Score!
15.) As you walk off the field with your head held high, explain to a rookie why that sad excuse for a layout and the blady POS were actually brilliant decisions
16.) Convince said rookie to "be like Yoda" the all-knowing, all-seeing master of the Force.
Name: Anish Shah
Class: Grad (2nd yr)
Years on Smaug: 1
Hometown: The Village of Johnson City
Signature Move: The Shin Shredder
Metaclorian count: ridiculously high
Yoda cant throw. He's slow, and can't play defense to save his life. He can barely even catch. In fact if you throw the disc to him, he will probably drop it. Unless of course its about 3 inches off the ground and seemingly impossible to catch. He will make that catch every time. Yoda is also old, and old people feel obligated to teach and advise the youngens. So Yoda will teach you the one thing he does know. The Shin Shredder.
The Shin Shredder consists of 16 simple steps.
1.) Wait for a shitty handler to get the disc
2.) Run. Fast, but not too fast, cuz then you wont need to slide
3.) Let the disc drop until it is roughly 8-10 inches off the ground. (once you get good, u can wait until its at 2-4 inches)
4.) Drop down to your knees
5.) Take advantage of the lack of hair on your shins and sliiiiiiiide (perfect for all you hairless asians on the team)
6.) Catch disc
7.) In one smooth motion, bring your legs in front of you
8.) Dig your heels into the ground
9.) Let your momentum pick you up.
10.) Note the missing skin from your shins. (if you're bleeding, make sure its not black)
11.) Look upfield for about 8 seconds
12.) At stall nine, throw a blady piece of shit to a smauggie who is getting completely owned by his defender
13.) Laugh as said defender stops to watch the disc in awe of your rampant stupidity, and consequently fails to keep up with your smauggie receiver
14.) Score!
15.) As you walk off the field with your head held high, explain to a rookie why that sad excuse for a layout and the blady POS were actually brilliant decisions
16.) Convince said rookie to "be like Yoda" the all-knowing, all-seeing master of the Force.